Little things

It's almost Mother's Day...even though I am a mom I seriously dread this holiday. The cards are expensive and well that one tiny thing of my mom is no longer living. It's hard to celebrate when she is gone. I get all these emails reminding me to get something for my mom...I really hate it. It makes me not want to check my email.

When my mom passed I tried to keep things that belonged to her...I'm not really a packrat so I don't keep a lot of stuff. I kept these socks...it's been eight years and the socks are getting stretched out...I am sad to get rid of them...they are just socks...but it just seems not fair.

I don't know what to do with myself. I miss my mom and the cloudy weather today is bringing me down...

Happy Mother's Day all. Be thoughtful to the ones who have lost maternal family members and enjoy the day for what it is supposed to be appreciation of all her hard work.

Qietly

I am quietly floating through my routine. I feel unworthy to keep a blog...I find it all boring and don't want to bore you....

I am proud of my kids they are amazing.  I will ride their coattails for a while and then formulate a new plan....

Searching for me.....

Baby's first haircut

So Alan and I decided Audrey was beginning to look unkempt

so I sighed and decided I would be brave and take her to get her hair cut

I figure if I am taking a two year old to get her first haircut I want someone who knows what they are doing...

so off to Snippety Crickets

I was SO nervous 

my stomach was all swirly and I was so afraid her beautiful curls would be gone

but the hairdresser was all ready for us

she did a great job she put my mind at ease and handed Audrey a toy

she moved quickly and with precision! this lady was a dream come true!

Audrey held still and never cried! It was amazing

The lady was able to carry through the exact look I wanted. I couldn't be more thrilled. 

My sweet little Audrey looks adorable 

See! 

they even gave her a lollypop she was thrilled.

and

curls still intact! thank goodness

NOT Red Velvet cookies

So I always wondered about Red Velvet cake and other red velvet desserts

Why red? I hate red

Why a whole bottle of food coloring?

Why do most recipes use a cake mix? I'm not that lazy

If I don't want to use food coloring what would i use to still have it taste and look good?

Well today I am having a bad day...

and if you have read any of my blog posts you would know that means it's time to bake

well sometimes it doesn't work out...

being a bad day and all

So I decided to try to make something "Blue" Velvet

(being that I don't like red)

Well FAIL!

let's count all the things that went wrong...

1. the cookies were a little over cooked and look black

I swear they are blue

2. They were overcooked because my oven sucks and I can't read the temperature and I think it is off anyway

3. they taste bad because they were over cooked and because they are ugly

at any rate stick to RED Velvet desserts

Here is the recipe I used follow it but don't use any other color

here are some crappy photos of the process

they look like coal! 

I just thought it was important for me to be honest in my blog 

and say hey I did not do well at this

this is a good reason why no one does other colors then red

 Audrey likes the cookies though

I am done trying today!

Food glorious food

My life revolves around food...

I love it. a good time for me involves food

I love trying new kinds of foods 

or new twists on old favorites

This place is lovely the food is amazing the options are awesome you must go

a day in San Francisco for me usually equals me pleading with my husband to go to Tartine

delicious! no other words than Delicious

They have the best chocolate croissants

their regular croissants and ham croissants are something dreams are made of

I could go on about all the things I've tried there but oh so yummy and oh so space consuming

We then proceeded to my sister in laws house where they were making pasta from scratch and chocolate pudding from scratch

unfortunately I am ungrateful and went to Outback to visit my cousin who was bar tending

we had a fabulous time it was a great day and see all about food

come hang with me and we will eat

Quiet lonely times

Some days go on without even a thought or very much effort....

Then some days I have to work so hard at trying to keep the day going

Today is one of those days I try and try to keep going

I don't feel like I am doing a very good job of making it through today

nothing seems to help

there seems to be no one to talk to, not for lack of people

just don't want to bother them or I don't want to say anything

Why don't they call?
Why can't I hear their voice?
 Why can't I see their face without a photo?
Why don't I dream of them?
Why does it still hurt so much if i can't see them, or hear them, or smell them?
I have the best husband on the face of the planet! Arguably the best!
But I feel alone...I feel abandoned...I feel lost...

today I want to call their phone number...not because I hope they will answer
but because I want to hear their voicemail...
I want to hear their voice again...I'm not sure how it would help
too bad I'm sure the number has been recycled and now belongs to someone who is home
someone who can answer the phone...

This post is not meant to make you feel sorry for me...
It is meant to express my inner thoughts that I can't quite seem to express...
(I know that doesn't make sense...maybe it isn't supposed to...)

I miss my mom
I miss my dad
I miss their company
I miss calling them when I was having a hard day...

I think I need a trip to the beach...find me there...

First day of school!!!! 2010

My babies are back at school! I'm so proud! Sixth grade...last year of elementary school...(cringe) She is growing up so fast.  Second grade for the younger.  They are back with teachers from 2008 much adored teachers who have moved onto new grade levels.  We are thrilled...scared...excited...tired. Honestly who wakes up at seven a.m.  Unheard of! 

 

Here are my lovely ladies coming out of their lovely classrooms! Are they excited? Bogged down with too much homework? who knows! Happy new school year! Let's make it fantastic! Go Tigers!



Rewarded for surviving summer and the first day of school and the one hot summer day all summer long!