is this for real?

So all this time I have this blog and intend to write in it...I write it in more than I actually publish it. When I blog I want to be able to use it to express myself. I am not sure who that is so sometimes it is hard. The parts I do see and think about often I am not really a fan so I don't want to share those. But I don't want to continue with those things either...and how will I know how to change them if they hide in the dark haunting parts of my brain? But also (unfortunately) I care a lot about what you think...and I don't want you to think of me how I think of me...I really need someone to like me. Some things about me are good...but I don't want to come off conceited and scare you away either...

I love reading blogs. My favorites have pictures. Personal thought out pictures...not some tabloid thing of a celebrity being scandalous doing the same things we do just getting caught...I love even more than picture blogs is the person being real and open and willing to express themselves and knowing how. I don't know if these blogs I read are all of them scribbled out on the page or just pieces. I like the pieces idea...kind of like a big beautiful puzzle with all the pieces waiting to be put together. This piece has a ugly dirty orange on it...but added to the whole puzzle it is the dark side of a beautiful flower or a beautiful hat on a sweet little girl.

I guess my idea is to try to be the blog I want to be...to try to workout those ugly parts of the puzzle so when they are all together it makes a beautiful me. This seems easy to explain and it sounds nice...but I know for me it will be very very hard to not delete everything I write. If you are reading this I guess I am one step closer. Please forgive my grammar and spelling I am hoping through writing on here I will get better. But also I can not go back and reread it to check because I will delete it every time.

I will continue to add my 365 pictures but also I think my plan is to just add them and then try to write whatever is needed not necessarily pertaining to the pictures. Bare with me and to the three people who have encouraged me to be more real and to give it a try thank you...maybe someday I will be brave enough to thank you in person!